My Bible

I have spent the last three hours reading Miller-Hayes' History and Hayes' Interpretation of O.T.  I feel as though I have been hit, over and over, until beaten down.  Although, it's not really sharp pain as much as sadness...or grief.  I feel like I am losing my Bible.

I keep thinking about a lecture from History of Christian Thought a few weeks ago, when I heard about the Coptic monks who were persecuted in the 4th Century.  They were anthropomorphites, which means that they took the Bible so literally, that when the Bible says something about God's hand, or God's shield, they believed that God literally has hands and a shield.  They were persecuted as heretics, because obviously God doesn't have hands, or carry a shield.  

One anthropomorphite monk, having submitted to the ruling of a local council, confessed his errors, and said, "but they have taken away my God".

I think that the best thing I can do now is just go to the text and pray it, and delight in it, and maybe even sing some of it.

Week 3

The big news for this week was Mark--he fell in a soccer game
Saturday. His wrist hurt, but brave boy that he is, he didn't
complain. We took him to the doctor Monday morning since everything
on the Internet said that if it still hurt a day later to go to
doctor, and he had broken a bone in the wrist. He has his first cast,
and has lots of signatures on it. He has to drink 5 glasses of milk,
or take a calcium table for each omitted glass, and so he swigs the
milk to avoid the horse pills.

Matt called Sunday (we try to talk every Sunday) and said that he had
helped kidnap new fraternity brothers and take them to Iowa for
football game. He was driving home. As we talked the cell signal
degraded, and he said he would call back soon. He didn't, and didn't
answer my calls since he went straight to work when returned to
Columbia, and turned off cell phone at work. I was so worried about
him, of course imagining him on the side of the road in rural
Missouri. He did call late, and I was so relieved. I really hate
being away from him and not knowing how he is doing.

One of the best parts of seminary is the worship opportunities. Three
days a week at midday, we have a service, usually with word &
Eucharist on Tues, word on Thurs, Eucharist only on Fri.

This week one of the third year students preached and did a wonderful
job. He spoke about "hitting the wall" the third week every semester.
I haven't "hit the wall" yet, I seem to be finding a rhythm of class,
study, weekly O.T. quizzes, writing weekly colloquy paper, rest, etc.
I estimate that I should be reading 180 pages a day for Tues-Fri
classes, and I get most done before class, but seem to slip and get
the Thurs morning readings done after class instead of before. I'm
more worried about next week when other classes start adding papers
and midterms. That's when I expect to hit the wall.

Our student preacher used a cute phrase--he called himself a card
carrying member of the "FPA"...which stands for "Future Pharisees of
America". He had some really clever lines about getting the card
laminated, whipping it out when needed...and it was a clever phrase to
use to make his point. Over lunch afterwards, a few of us decided
that the current definition of pharisee is anyone who doesn't agree
with what I believe. :-)

Part of the reason I feel better about the rhythm is that I'm finally
doing well on the O.T. quizzes. I started doing online trivia games
to help me remember details. I like the one at:
http://trivia.crossdaily.com/ which allows me to select a book of the
Bible to quiz from. I am a bit resentful about being quizzed about
details, like in which chapters of the Pentateuch do you find the
worship calendars, but it has changed the way I am reading the text to
be more careful about details.

Also, the Jewish study Bible doesn't have the mid-chapter subject
headings that I am used to, and I realize now how much I
subconsciously depended on these to tell me what I am reading, or to
go back and find a verse that I know is somewhere around chapter 13.

Week Two

I bought a digital recorder to record all of my class lectures, and
found that I can listen to lectures at 1.5 times normal speed, with
occasional stops to gloss my class notes. It makes me aware of how
much wasted time there is in a lecture. :-) Plus, it's fun to listen
to my professors talk fast in a high pitch.

Cathy suggested a daily 30 minute power nap, and this works well. I
set my timer 40 minutes when I get home, and if I don't get to sleep,
get up anyway. Friday I was tired, but other days went well. I know
it seems ridiculous to worry so much about sleep, but I think a lot
about this. It makes me feel old when I'm tired and look around at a
bunch of twenty-somethings in the classroom.

Met with my contextual education class. I will assist chaplain 4
hours per week at Gwinnett Medical Center. I would like to work
Monday mornings, since no classes then, but if I work mornings I will
likely be assigned to emergency room, since resident patients will be
bathing/eating breakfast, etc. I do not feel prepared for this at
all. But then I wasn't prepared at all for pastoral care last year,
and somehow got through this...grace happens.

My Old Testament class uses the Jewish study Bible, and the notes are
wonderful. It has more notes than Biblical text on some pages, so
more like a commentary than Bible.

I have procrastinated on deciding my attitude towards scriptures. On
the one hand, I believe that scripture is divinely inspired. On the
other hand, as my Old Testament prof continually points out, it is
difficult to accept the text literally. (And I cannot do like Origen
and say that the literal meaning is the least useful.) In O.T., we
don't ask "did it really happen like this?" but instead we ask "why
did the people tell the story in this way?" So far I have been able
to hold a paradox in my mind with no problem.

For my finance friends: does this conflict in beliefs mean that my
belief system is lexicographic?

In pastoral care we have focused on the paradigm shift during the 1990s in how to give pastoral care. Essentially there has been a paradigm shift, where the clinical model of one-to-one care based on a "standard" person has been criticized for many reasons. Many of these are related to shift towards a postmodern philosophy.

In finance, over this same time period we saw a shift from assumptions like investor rationality and homogeneous expectations to greater
acceptance of papers examining behavioral issues. I doubt many in finance would attribute this shift to post modernity in culture, but I have to wonder if some of the postmodern philosophy didn't leak over into this last bastion of rationality.

In pastoral care we write reflection papers...in one paragraph write a summary of a paper, then our reflections on the paper. I have no idea what this means, so I just followed directions and reflected on the paper. (When all else fails, read the directions.) There is a two page limit, and since papers are submitted electronically, I can't fudge in the usual ways-- making margins 0.9 inches, reducing the font to 11.9 instead of 12, instead of double spacing use a space of 1.9 between lines. This is the real curse of the electronic age. Below is my reflection on a paper by Ramsay, chock full of jargon (jargon is the only remaining means of meeting space limitations).

Toward a Trinitarian Image of Humanity
(Reflection on an article by Nancy J. Ramsay)

In her essay describing recent developments in contemporary pastoral theology, Ramsay describes how transitions in pastoral theology have coincided with the recent paradigm shift from modernity to postmodernity.[1] She identifies two theological themes with these changes, an increasing theological emphasis on creation in God’s image and love.[2] Ramsay also notes that theological reflection on the Trinity has led to a “more adequate theology of love that values mutuality and reciprocity”.[3] This essay argues that theological emphasis on creation in the image of God, and in particular, an image of God as Trinity, may address postmodern concerns.

Creation in a Trinitarian image of God could be modeled in at least two ways. In the simplest case, each human reflects a Trinitarian God. This suggests that people are complex and not easily pigeonholed, and is consistent with recent recognition of the “multiple social identities that persons inhabit”.[4] The complexity of the individual is congruent with postmodern concerns about pastoral care models based universal human experience.

Another concern of postmodernity, the role of authority, also could be addressed by a Trinitarian image of individual humans. Based on a Trinitarian self-image, oppressed groups that historically have been told to submit and sacrifice as Jesus did, can also view selves as not just imitators of Jesus, but draw on a Trinitarian self-image that includes God the creator and a powerful Holy Spirit.[5]

A second interpretation of humanity created in a Trinitarian image suggests that communities, rather than individuals, reflect the image of God. Genesis 1:27-28 describes a multi-person creator who creates humanity, males and females, in its own multi-person image. Only together, in community, can truth be found. This view would be appreciated within postmodernity, which questions the objectivity of individuals and values multiple perspectives.

A model of Trinitarian community suggests that individuals were created to be part of community. Emphasis on God in three persons, each promoting and supporting the others, could increase the willingness of a community’s members to relate to one another with mutual encouragement.[6] An increased emphasis on mutuality within community could address postmodern concerns about asymmetrical power and authority within relationships.

Although greater emphasis on Trinitarian theological anthropology may address some of the concerns associated with postmodernity, it is not without problems. One weakness of emphasizing the Trinity is that few, if any, understand the mystery of the trinity. Emphasis on the mystery of God may lead to resignation by some in their attempt at better self-understanding. If I cannot understand God, how can I hope to understand myself?

Second, a community’s goal of reflecting a Trinitarian God may be limited by its understanding of the persons of God. For example, the role of God as the creator may be associated with facilitating physical and emotional healing; that of Jesus the reconciler may be associated with assisting in reconciliation. However, it is not clear to this writer as to how the role of the Holy Spirit would be embodied within the community.[7] Despite these limitations, increased emphasis on the Trinitarian nature of God and creation in the image of God may address concerns of postmodernity and encourage Christian communities to meet the needs of persons for belonging.


[1] Nancy J. Ramsay, “Contemporary Pastoral Theology: A Wider Vision for the Practice of Love,” in Dictionary of Pastoral Care and Counseling, Expanded Edition, ed. Nancy J. Ramsay (Nashville, Abingdon Press, 2005), 1429.
[2] Ibid., 1434.
[3] Ibid., 1434.
[4] Ibid., 1435.
[5] This use of Trinity likely differs from that in the works by Gill-Austern and Johnson cited in Ramsay, Ibid., 1434.
[6] The Bible provides several examples of mutual support of Trinitarian persons for each other. For example, Mark 1:11 describes the baptism of Jesus, at which time a voice from heaven, said ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’.
[7] This weakness more likely reflects the weakness of the author rather than the weakness of a Trinitarian image of humanity.

Week One - So Tired

I keep telling myself that I am not behind, that I am caught up with
the things that matter...but then I notice it has been a month since
school started and not one blog item. Here's what I can recall of the
first week.

If I leave for school at 6:00 I can make it with time to spare for the
7:30 daily office, with plenty of time to get to the 8:00 class. I've
learned since then that even leaving at 6:05 may mean missing the
prayer service.

I'm not used to getting up so early, and was too excited to get much
sleep the first night. It is hard to get up and get out by 6. I
don't understand why this is so much harder than leaving the house by
7. Every day I seemed more and more tired.

Friday morning, as I was walking to my first class, a classmate
commented that he felt great! He had a great night's sleep, he had
gone to bed early, at 10pm. For this old lady, 10 pm is late!

At first I thought my least stressful class would be Old Testament.
The professor doesn't give tests/papers, just a quiz every class, and
students can drop 3 of the 26 scores. I studied, and prepared one
paragraph essay answers to the questions I anticipated. Instead, it
was fill-in-the-blank detail questions. I answered 3 of 5 questions,
and found out that two of those answers were incorrect when he went
through the quiz after we turned them in. 1 out of 5 points won't
work on any scale! I came home and immediately got out my scholarship
materials--and verified that I have to keep a 3.5 or lose the
scholarship. I was hoping that it was a 3.0 or 3.2. Oh well.

Spoke with Matt, who is freshman at Mizzou, and he gleefully told me
that he made an A on his first quiz. :-)

My Old Testament professor loves to point out the inconsistencies in
the texts. Some of what he sees as inconsistencies I have no problem
with. For example, in the creation account, he says "a day is a day"
and each day of creation would be 24 hours--he insists in interpreting
the text literally so that he can better point out inconsistencies.
But for me, I don't have a problem with this. I imagine Moses, or
some other prophet, seeing a vision of creation, and trying to express
and describe this as best possible--which means poetry.

History of Christian Thought is an amazing class. It's team taught.
One professor teaches for 50 minutes, the other addresses oversights
and also highlights themes in the previous lecture for 10 minutes,
then they both answer questions for 10 minutes. It's amazing to see
the interaction between a lover of church history and a lover of
liturgy. They bring out the best in each other. I'm so glad that I
listened to lectures on tape of philosophy (while painting Mark's room
this summer). It has helped a lot, since as a math/finance major I
never discussed Plato. Funny to have a PhD without ever taking a
philosophy class!